Gently moving towards the light - always
I hope you have a morning. Without ideas on what kind of morning, exactly as it comes.
I used to love watching other peoples morning-routine videos. The idea of an organized, healthy, productive morning got me all excited. So excited that I decided to film my own.
Turns out I don’t really have a routine, nor do I have many healthy morning habits.
I do however have some quiet moments to share
which I think
turn any morning into a magical one
where you know you’re just not feeling it but don’t want to not be feeling it. You wish you wanted to go out to enjoy the sunshine, you wish you wanted to go on a bike ride, you wish you wanted to go edit your photo’s or come up with a new video but in all honesty; you’re just not feeling it. And it’s your day off so you’ve got all the freedom to do whatever it is you want!
For me, the reason I have a hard time admitting to myself I’m not feeling it is because in my mind I’ve created all these ideas and stories about how things should be. What my days should look like or what things I should be wanting to do. Especially being a very creative person, you can start feeling like you should always be making. But you don’t. And I don’t either.
It’s an ebb and flow. Coming and going. For me it’s not about getting to a point where things work, where creative energy flows, where discomfort doesn’t show up. It’s about riding the waves without feeling consumed or trying to control. To be really honest with yourself about the type of wave you´re on and to act accordingly.
When I am aligned, when I am in a place of inner harmony, creating art is just a thing that happens sometimes. Drawing, filming, writing, they are not means to an end. Nor is an edited video the goal.
It’s just what happens to be the outcome when I get out of my own way, be fully present and surrender to the process of doing what feels right.
And once I’ve followed that process and it’s turned into a video for example, it doesn’t end there. It keeps on giving. I enjoyed the process, I enjoy the video, others enjoy the video and it might even enable the person watching to sit and take things in for a minute. I wish for you to simply enjoy it. Without any feelings of having to go out and be creative or go out and try that thing you always wanted to try.
I’m not saying don’t try things, I just hope you can have the experience of taking something in without it leaving you feeling like you have to take action.
That’s my wish for today
Living from a place of ease
It’s so tempting to go and make plans, set goals and create ideas about your future. According to many, those elements are key to becoming -whatever it is you call- successful.
The thing is though… it. does. not. work. for. me.
For me it mainly leads to stress. The kind of stress where nothing useful comes out of it. Every time I’ve had an idea about the kind of life I want to create for myself and what it is I could or maybe even should be doing, it bites me in the ass. It takes huge amounts of energy and brings no excitement. Not even when I power through, hang in there, keep working hard and see what reward will come in the end. Even if there is a reward in the end, it’s usually not anything that brings me joy anymore. After all the struggle on a road I didn’t see the point in following I don’t feel accomplished. I might be proud of myself for sticking it out but even that is a rare thing. Often I just don’t see the benefits of having ‘powered through’ and it has turned out to be quite unrewarding in every aspect possible.
For a while now, I’ve been experimenting with the simple way of just doing what feels right at this moment. Notice how I didn’t use the word good there? Nor will I say this will at times feel bad. It’s just what is right. I ask myself a simple question:
‘What is it that I feel like doing right now?’ And then go do that.
I love creating stories about what would be a good …anything… for me. But in the end, it’s all just me trying to calm my nerves. It’s not real, it’s just a way to deal with the unavoidable uncertainty of what is to come.
It’s like a brain exercise that leads to nothing but the stress and eventually the realization I can’t outrun my own gut feeling.
sketching with materials
Orchids have always been my favorite flower.
One day I discovered they are the national flower of my country, Colombia.
I met these three during a walk last winter.
It is not that hard
to look up,
A little time and a lot of open space
To add a bit of ease to your day
I'm sure this never, ever happens to you but in my world there are times at which there is just no inspiration. No energy, no movement. Room is a mess, head is a mess, late for everything. Dominos is life. Total lack of motivation for anything but the couch.
Those are quite easy times.
Then there’s other times. When it’s an epic storm of ideas. Going on and on and on, no start, no finish. It does not end. Not during the day, not during the night. You try calming down, follow a night time ritual, take a shower, drink some tea, light a few candles. Very relaxing. And the moment you lie down to go to sleep... brain is back at it.
New strategy: work with it, not against it. Give it some room, pay attention to those ideas, write them down, create steps and plans. All very mature and disciplined. Anddddd, there goes another 3 hours, zero release of energy, all it did was trigger more ideas. Now I’m no longer imagining how this or that video could turn out, no all of a sudden it’s supposed to be my life’s purpose and this will be the one thing that I will succeed at and bring me joy and happiness and wealth but only if I work SUPER hard at it and do not stop for a little rest, ever. We’re well past 3 am now.
I don't know if there is any other way of a creative process or if I would want it differently.
I do know I haven't gone completely crazy yet so I think we're good for now.
However, if there's any great advice on your end: I am all ears
One thing that always inspires me is beautiful flowers.
I love plants, I do, I have a couple.
But I’m the kind of person that gets bored easily. Which is why I love to get flowers every couple of weeks. I need to change things up and especially the place I live in.
A friend always laughs when she enters my room, it is changed every time she visits.
For me flowers bring change, color and life to a room. They usually help inspire to clean up the rest as well (two birds, one stone type of thing). And I like to create different corners with them.
Paying attention to the space I live in is very important to me.
I used to feel that cleaning, organizing and redecorating was an excuse. Once there’s an important deadline, all of a sudden you enjoy doing dishes. How did that happen?
I’ve now decided it’s not an excuse or distracting, it’s setting the tone for focus. Clearing space for new things to enter.
Do you enjoy organizing your space?
Meeting with other artists is always fun.
Make sure you have matching phones, enjoy the calming colors, throw in some acting, practice new dance moves.
Inspiring for sure.
One cannot pour from an empty cup.
After focussing on one creative outlet for a bit too long I get frustrated. Things are no longer moving, there is no flow, motivation leaves the studio and trades places with doubts and fears that never helped anybody.
Of course at the time I have no insight in all this. No clue as to why I am no longer enjoying things I thought I loved. I happily enter the cycle of negative thoughts that never end.
Quick fix? Netlix <3 That works for a while but even I have a limit to the number of bad shows I can handle.
So, let’s fill that cup the right way.
1. I thank all the great thoughts I thought and direct my attention outward.
2. I replace Netflix with an hour of thrifting.
Why did I not think of this sooner?
You need time to execute the many not so smart options first.
Right, I need a bit of time to sulk around and wait for boredom to strike before I get moving.
‘That’s ok, give yourself permission’,
I have learned this to be incredibly true and also incredibly nice since you can be a hermit all in the name of ‘giving yourself permission’. Which I do regularly.
It all worked out in the end, I found several beautiful tops at Sussies and left feeling really inspired.